>2010-10-15 – Friday Whisper – What Was I Thinking When I Said Yes? – Part I

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 I’ve heard it from many couples at some point in their lives…. Does it sound familiar?
Well, I was never married before, so I can’t pretend to know what is it like to live with a person of the other gender (at least in many cases 🙂 for 24/7, with no breaks, no weekends….I don’t know…but I know that communications is the basis for any relationship…
He never listens to you when you are frustrated? She doesn’t understand what you are saying? He doesn’t help you with the kids? She forgets about you and your needs? He doesn’t check on you how do you feel? She can’t realize that you have to work hard to be able to cover the bills? No matter what do you do, it seems that he cannot notice you? She doesn’t listen? He doesn’t listen?
Oufff!!! It can be so complicated!!!! Sometimes you feel you are lonely…your partner can’t understand you…what do you do? Do you leave? Do you stay? What will happen to the kids? Do you feel that you are stuck? You don’t have an “UNDO” button to go back?  Unfortunately, the answer for this last one is No! So forget this one!
In the middle of all your problems, why don’t you take a moment and remember why you said yes in the first place? Can’t you really find a moment in your life where you would say, “What would I have done without her!” or “What would my life have been without him!”?
Don’t let the daily responsibilities and problems of your life drive you away from him/her…even if he/she is going in a different direction, try for once to follow…maybe you will both meet again…
And again it’s all about communications… Communications, as many of you might know, it is not just words; in fact, words are only 7%, 38% for tonality and 55% body language…so a “Honey!” in a tough tone while doing a brisk walk doesn’t really inspire love!
Even when you fight, you communicate… So keep in mind, criticize the behavior not the person…what do I mean? Come back next week…but before you go, prepare the following:
-List 5 physical characteristics that you like about your partner
-List 5 qualities that you like about your partner
-List 5 qualities that you DON’T like about your partner
Anthony Robbins, an author, a motivational speaker and a life coach, said: “Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something. They’re trying to find someone who’s going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take.”
Till next week…
Rania Hammoud
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