>2010-10-22 – Friday Whisper – What Was I Thinking When I Said Yes? – Part II

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 So where were we? oh yeah, your relationship….So did you do the exercise of Part I? No? Close your browser now!!! No wait!… Just kidding 🙂
-For the first 5, how come they don’t turn you on anymore? What can you do to feel it again? How about doing just the minimum, taking few minutes, looking at your spouse and remembering those feelings?
-For the second 5, aren’t those qualities enough for you to be more patient with your spouse? To try harder to make your relationship work?
-For the third 5, what can you do to make those qualities bother you less? Can you discuss them with your spouse? In a constructive way of course?!
Now keep in mind that different gender means different way of thinking:
When he says “I want coffee”, it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t like the juice you got him, it just means that he wants coffee …as simple as that. Men don’t take things to the fifth dimension like we do!
When she is whining about kids, she is not asking you to find her a solution, she just need to whine about it, that’s all…women need to ventilate most of the time…and gentlemen, do you need me to remind you of the three magic letters: P.M.S?! Follow her period’s calendar, so that you avoid as much as possible telling her No at the wrong time!
On the other side, if you want something from your man, just be straight forward, don’t make him guess… as for her, she just loves the phrase “Let’s talk about it” and use your listening skills…
Come to sex, if you don’t have communication in your bedroom, then communication in your living room or kitchen won’t be useful…most probably there will be a big fight about how you do the dishes or which TV channel you’re watching…
As for criticizing the behavior not the person, there is a big difference between “I’m not happy with you” and “I’m not happy with your behavior”, your partner would be on the defensive in the first one but open and communicative in the second one… explain what you are feeling rather than condemning your partner.
Another destructive attitude is demanding rather than requesting; which one do you prefer to hear? “Buy some milk on your way home” or “Can you please get us some milk?”… I knew it 🙂
I only touched the surface of a relationship’s challenges and I know that it can be much complicated than my examples, but I know that a good communication lessens the problems a lot…Along with all that, don’t underestimate a surprise-hug, a chocolate-kiss, or a hand-holding.
Deepak Chopra, a public speaker and a writer, said: “When you struggle with your partner, you are struggling with yourself. Every fault you see in them touches a denied weakness in yourself. ”
Build a bridge to reach your spouse, not a wall…
Rania Hammoud

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