2011-11-11 – Friday Whisper – It Doesn’t Come in a Container…

Happiness, that is. I meet many who are expecting for “something big” to happen in order for them to be happy.

If get the dream job I want, I will be happy…

If I find my soulmate I will be happy…

If I move to my dream house I will be happy…

If I can make this amount of money I will be happy…

If I can find friends who care about me in a specific way, I will be happy…

We are always waiting for this day when something extraordinary will happen out of nowhere…meanwhile, what are we doing? Nothing or just few things, while waiting and waiting and waiting… and somehow, things never happen!!!

Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong about dreaming big and asking for the stars…the wrong part is when we don’t enjoy what we have…

I came to realize that happiness comes in small doses, on different intervals, but we are so focused on what we want that we are always unsatisfied with what we are getting… It is not the raise you want? Keep asking for it while enjoying what you’ve got…it is not the house you want? Make it your home while planning for the one you want… It is not the date you were looking for? Enjoy the new coffee you are trying… It is not the gift that you want? Cherish the thought and time your friend spent choosing it only for you… It is not the in-law family you dreamt of? Enjoy the fact that your kids have a big family…It is not the spouse you always wanted? Either leave or find a way to enjoy the qualities and accept the flaws…

Don’t you wonder why people who got their dream job/house/partner/bank account are still unhappy or even commit suicide sometimes? Because they don’t know how to celebrate what they have…

Are you never content? Then not even a container of happiness (if it exists!) will make you happy…if you don’t know how to enjoy the small pleasures, your buffer of happiness will always be empty…

Why we do it? Maybe we grow with parents who are never satisfied with what they achieve or what we achieve! Maybe we are perfectionists… Maybe we are comparing ourselves to others and looking always to “beat” them in what they have…Maybe we are looking at the bad side of people/things… Maybe we are not accepting the reality that our life isn’t how we planned it or wanted it to be… Maybe we are not letting go of the person we think we should be…Maybe we are always having high expectations (that leads to bigger deceptions!)

And how it is working for us? We are constantly unhappy, something that leads to frustration, anger and eventually continuous aggressiveness…

Happiness come from within, if you are happy with yourself, you will wait for the rainbow after the rain, you will sing your preferred songs in a traffic, you will wear that lousy sweater at home to cherish your friend’s love, you will feel blessed having that crazy sibling/aunt/parent when others are family-less…

And remember that what you have now could be what someone else is looking for now… would you give it away? Even the only call/visit that you are receiving from your son? The 100$ raise you just got? The lousy car you are driving? The two-bedroom house? Would you?!

Live the moment, find a positive angle in everything you receive, look for the good side in people and nurture it, be easy on yourself, accept your flaws, embrace your life, rethink what you really want in life and set your priorities straight, follow your heart… and when you become satisfied keep wanting more and keep dreaming!

Paulo Coelho said in his book “The Winner Stands Alone”: “People are never satisfied. If they have a little, they want more. If they have a lot, they want still more. Once they have more, they wish they could be happy with little, but are incapable of making the slightest effort in that direction.”

A “reservoir” of happiness slightly filled is far better than an empty rusted one!

Rania Hammoud, Life Coach

www.perfectmind.ca

Check also my blog at http://raniahammoud.blospot.com

You can also join my Facebook page

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