2013-11-08 – Friday Whisper – We are…

We are the result of our surroundings, our culture, our parents, our education, our life experiences and what we went through…

How we see ourselves is most of the time how our parents made us feel, or how we see our raw model, our parent of the same sex – mom or dad.

If your parents didn’t show you much love or appreciation, it is not because they didn’t love you, it is maybe because they didn’t know how to show it, neither did their parents express it to them…

We cannot blame our parents, as they are the result of their own parents. We don’t know what were their challenges when they grew up, we don’t know what were the daemons they fought.

Maybe your dad has always blamed his luck for his ordinary job, that’s why you grew up thinking that you only need luck to succeed in life…

Maybe your mom had always victimized herself, that’s why you grew up thinking all women are weak or refusing to live your femininity…

Maybe your dad screamed at you when you did something wrong, because his dad did that too and it is the only way he knew for how to deal with such situation.

Maybe your mom called you a “failure” because she wanted to provoke you to improve yourself or maybe she didn’t want you to end up as a failure, the way she had always seen herself…

Most of the parents behave, out of a good will, in a way to make you understand or reach something… little did they know that you will get a different message, sometimes one that has a negative effect on you.

And what we end up might affect how we lead our lives, take decisions, choose our partners and raise our kids. As much as we refuse one or both of our parents, we might end up becoming them or choosing a partner like them to make him/her pay for what our parent did, forgetting that he/she is not our parent!

We need to take the step of facing our own fears, adjust our distorted image of our own gender identity and that of opposite gender, to be able to show the appropriate image for our children and break the chain here!

Louis L’Amour, an American author, said: “Only the weak blame parents, their race, their times, their lack of good fortunes or the quirks of fate. Everyone has within them the power to say, ‘This I am today, that I shall become tomorrow.’ The wish, however, must be implemented by deeds.”

Whether we love or hate ourselves, admire or despise our image, it may be caused by others, yet it is still our own responsibility of how to deal with it…

Image

Rania Hammoud, Life Coach

http://www.perfectmind.ca

http://www.twitter.com/Rania_Hammoud

Check also my blog at http://raniahammoud.blogspot.com 

Or https://raniahammoud.wordpress.com

You can also like my Facebook page at http://www.facebook.com/PerfectMindLifeCoaching

Don’t forget to share the post 🙂 

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